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Ulfgar
'' This article is about the player character Ulfgar. Ulfgar is a common dwarven name; for other Ulfgars, see Ulfgar (disambiguation).'' Ulfgar (ULLfh-ghar) is a dwarven fighter, barbarian, adventurer, and force of nature from Ulgrof's Pass, Goneril. At an early age he abandoned his surname, his clan name, and his place name, and now simply goes by Ulfgar. As a wanderer from the north, it is unclear if he was he born to a civilized dwarven city-state, a nomadic barbarian tribe, or spawned from chaos itself. With his own memory lost, only time may reveal the truth. Ulfgar is also the author of the 1445 book Rules of Engagement. History of Ulfgar Ulfgar in Eon Ulfgar lives life as a free spirit, doing what he feels is right at the moment, but he has three rules to live by: *NEVER make the same mistake twice...make a new mistake every time. *Live in the moment: Deal with the immediate problem first in the most expeditious manner. The consequences of the solution are, at worst, the NEXT problem. *Don't fight to kill, fight to protect your friends. Of course, some may die trying to get to your friends, but that's their problem, really. Ulfgar was the number three employee in The Company during Eon: The Jade Warriors (Spring 2008), and Eon: Unsolved Mysteries (Fall 2008). After The Company changed management in 1442 SA, Ulfgar briefly appeared during The Assassination of Grax in Eon: The Frozen Fates (Spring 2009). Ulfgar was also a recurring NPC during Eon: Southern Dreadnought (Winter 2008). He yet again encountered the party as the champion of a drow settlement in the Underdark near Baldur, after having spent several months training in the art of drunken combat with Philip The Drunken Master. This is actually the second non-dwarf settlement Ulfgar has been a respected member of, after becoming an honorary member of a tribe of Orc barbarians during the 1st job for The Company. He is very fond of The Purple Whiskey, and drinks profusely whatever local ale is cheap and plentiful. He accompanied the party through the Underdark all the way to Baldur , but disappeared before the Battle of Syscian's Tower. Roughly one day after the battle, Fab Dick scried on Pyotar Umarov and saw him on a battle cruiser, talking to a druid with a crow. The only words he could make out were "Ulfgar ... found ..." Given that crow may be the same bird Ulfgar attempted to interrogate, the party guesses this Ulfgar is the one they meant. Ulfgar's Other Adventures :As good a time as he has had with The Company, in time all friends must part. Ulfgar has since wandered into a strange land, with creatures unlike many he has faced before...but for Ulfgar, that just means more friends...right? :Upon entering Haverton, Baldur, Ulfgar wandered into the seedier part of town, it had served him well in the past, afterall. However, while staring at a particularly sludgey river, he was accosted by four goblins, intent on robbing him. Ulfgar laughed, and when they surrounded him (warily, as he hadn't yet pulled a weapon), Ulfgar proceeded to trip two of them into the river, scare one of them off, and pummel the other with his bare hands. After trying a particularly vile Troll brew in the tavern that faced this river, and "flavoring" it with some "proper" ale, Ulfgar was approached by the town Patrician. He was hired to take out a local Aboleth that was causing trouble at the coast, and asked to bring a sample of it back for the town wizard to study. Ulfgar agreed, after asking for some additional equipment in the town's stores to prepare for this challenge. Ulfgar was encouraged to take a "fire engine", mostly because they didn't want it in the town anymore. Ulfgar was joined by another necromancer, who was also hired by the Patrician for this task. Upon seeing the fire engine, and realizing it was a complicated system of bellows and nozzles which could project fire at a distance, Ulfgar convinced the town engineers, and his increasingly reluctant companion, to disconnect it from the small cart it had been attached to, and create a backpack version for Ulfgar. Ulfgar then approached the town alchemists for something to make the fire engine usable underwater, as well as some explosive crossbow bolts, just in case. Surprisingly, even in the most dangerous parts of town, people seemed to leave Ulfgar alone when he was wearing the fire engine on his back. Also, the town leaders, and anyone who talks with him for more than five minutes, grow increasingly worried that Ulfgar is too insane for even this job... :After encountering a pair of naturalists along the road to the coast, a dwarven ranger and a half-elf cleric of Ehlonna, his companions reached the coast, just in time to see a skum coming out of the water, but what a skum: with skin as red as a boiled crustacian and a stinger-tail to impress the boldest of scorpions, it was later determined, after its unfortunate slaying, to be of fiendish descent. Underwater, using potions of water-breathing given by the town mages, the party encountered a hunting-party of skum. After Ulfgar, having been enchanted with Tounges by the necromancer, informed the skum that they had arrived to kill the aboleth, and apologized for killing their scout, the skum departed down the coast, intent on either being freed from servitude, or having a irritated, but no more sour, aboleth master to deal with. The party approached the aboleth's lair as a scrag approached from the entrance. A fierce battle errupted, which concluded with Ulfgar performing his signature stunt, thrusting not one, but two explosive bolts straight into the mouth of the sea-troll. A laughing Ulfgar collected the skull-less head of the scrag as a bag for the scorpions tail and, eventually, aboleth specimens. The dwarven ranger, having claustrophobia, refused to enter the dark cave, so the necromancer cast a spell that lit up the entire cave, and a good portion of the surrounding ocean. Before the party could take advantage of this, unfortunately, the aboleth itself rose out of the cave, in order to find out what was going on. As it rose, blinking its eyes, the necromancer summoned a skeleton in its path, wearing the fire-engine. As the aboleth grabbed the poor skeleton, Ulfgar fired one last explosive bolt, detonating the fire engine directly in front of the beast. What was left was a cloud of slime and a few parts of tentacle and flesh. After collecting his specimens, and shaking off their effects, Ulfgar and party returned to the town with their spoils, paid hansomly and considered their next action. More About Ulfgar Ulfgar has also been known to quote various rules regarding piracy, obviously acquired over his travels. Ulfgar's Wisdom *Learn to Read, because some real jerks threaten your life with word puzzles... *Dead-Wood is VERY vulnerable to a Shatterspike blade. *Note to Ulfgar: Dwarf-Cannon. *When fighting a tree, use your high explosives FIRST! *Never send an Undead to do a Dwarf's job, he'll just waste all the good ale... Quotes Of Ulfgar *That Tavern was NOT my fault! *Baaaddd Buddy ... *"And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for the flying orc!" *(Regarding Ulfgar) Ulfgar is why we can't have nice things. EVER AGAIN. *Note to Ulfgar: Try making Dragon Bacon. Sounds delicious. Category:Player Characters Category:Why We Can't Have Nice Things Category:Goneril People